Surviving the Holidays When Dealing with Depression

Written By Carla Harvey

The holidays are often painted as the happiest time of the year — full of celebration, cozy gatherings, sparkling lights, and joyful energy. But for many women, especially those navigating depression, the season can feel heavy instead of bright. If that’s you, you’re not alone. And nothing is “wrong” with you.

Depression doesn’t take a holiday, and pretending to feel festive can add even more pressure. This season, permit yourself to move differently — gently, intentionally, and in a way that supports your mind and body.

Each year, I find the holidays to be very festive and bright. All of the decor from wreaths, ornaments, pictures, gifts, and let’s not forget those yummy baked treats that everyone seems to have the most energy to whip up this time of the year. With all of this happening, depression can still try to sneak in.

It took me many years to get here, but over the years I have learned to give myself time and grace, and acknowledging moods has helped me a long way. The pain of losing a loved one, the constant back and forth trying to find answers while battling a chronic illness, the change of seasons, and suddenly becoming darker earlier in the day, or whatever may try to creep in and bring you “down”.

Here are supportive, realistic ways to survive the holidays when you’re dealing with depression.

1. Release the Pressure to “Be Happy”

The expectation to feel joyful can make depression feel even deeper.
It’s OK if the holidays don’t feel magical.
It’s OK if you’re not excited.
It’s OK if your emotions don’t match the season.

Letting go of forced cheer gives you space to simply be, without guilt or comparison.

2. Create a Smaller, Softer Version of the Holidays

You don’t have to show up in the same way you always have.

Try a “softer holiday”:

  • Fewer events

  • Fewer responsibilities

  • More rest

  • More quiet moments

Sometimes the most peaceful holiday is the one you create yourself.

3. Protect Your Energy with Boundaries

Depression can make social situations exhausting. You are allowed to set limits.

Consider boundaries like:

  • “I can only stay for an hour.”

  • “I’m skipping this event this year.”

  • “I’m not in the space to host, but thank you for thinking of me.”

Healthy boundaries aren’t rude — they’re protective.

4. Choose One Simple Daily Ritual

When everything feels heavy, routines help anchor your day.

Choose one small ritual that doesn’t overwhelm you, such as:

  • A 5-minute stretch in the morning

  • Lighting a candle while you breathe

  • Drinking warm tea before bed

  • A short walk

  • Writing one sentence about how you feel

These tiny rituals create stability, even when the season feels chaotic.

5. Pay Attention to Your Physical Needs

Depression often intensifies when the body is depleted.

Support your physical wellbeing with:

  • Slow, gentle movement (walking, light Pilates, stretching)

  • Hydration, especially on busy or emotional days

  • Balanced meals, even if simple

  • Enough sleep or rest when possible

Honoring the basics can ease emotional heaviness.

6. Step Away from Overwhelming Social Media

During the holidays, social media becomes a highlight reel of perfect families, perfect gifts, and perfect moments.

If scrolling makes you feel worse:

  • Limit your time

  • Unfollow triggering accounts

  • Replace scrolling with something calming

Your worth isn’t measured by how “holiday-perfect” your life looks.

7. Make Space for Your Emotions

Depression doesn’t disappear because the calendar says it's December.

Give yourself permission to feel:

  • Sad

  • Lonely

  • Numb

  • Anxious

  • Disconnected

Emotions are not failures. They’re signals.
Let them move through you instead of pushing them down.

8. Reach Out to Someone You Trust

Depression can isolate you, and isolation makes depression louder.

Even one connection can make a difference:

  • A friend

  • A therapist

  • A family member

  • A support group

You don’t have to share everything — a simple “I’m having a tough day” is enough.

9. Create Moments of Comfort, Not Perfection

You don’t need big commitments to feel connected or grounded.

Try:

  • Watching a comforting movie

  • Playing soft music

  • Sitting near warm lighting

  • Cooking something simple

  • Wrapping yourself in a blanket

Comfort is a form of healing.

10. Remember: This Season Does Not Define You

The holidays are temporary, but your wellbeing matters every day of the year.
If you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re human.

Give yourself grace.
Give yourself rest.
Give yourself room to move through the season gently.

You deserve compassion, especially from yourself.

Final Thoughts

If this holiday season feels heavy, know this:
You are not alone, your feelings are valid, and you are allowed to care for yourself first.

Healing is not linear, and your worth isn’t tied to your holiday spirit.
May this season be soft, gentle, and filled with the support you need.

Disclaimer: This site shares general health and wellness information for women and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor or qualified health provider before making changes to your diet, exercise, or healthcare routine.

 

Carla Harvey
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